When they say they want Nothing for Christmas, this is what you get them…


NOTHING is truly an incredible product. In fact, NOTHING is needed in every home and family. Not since the introduction of casinos has capitalism produced such a perfect product.

freeshippingLook at what NOTHING can do:

NOTHING slices.
NOTHING dices.
NOTHING is fat free.
NOTHING cuts cholesterol.
NOTHING cures cancer.
NOTHING makes you happy.
NOTHING is gluten free.
NOTHING is acid free.
NOTHING is antibacterial.
NOTHING is recyclable.
NOTHING is delivered.
NOTHING is preferred by 3 out of 4 dentists.
NOTHING is new and improved.
NOTHING comes with a 30-day free trial.
NOTHING is guaranteed not to chip, crack or peel.
NOTHING can be had for low money down.
NOTHING tastes great and is less filling!

What would you pay for such an amazing product? $19.95? Maybe $39.95? DON’T ANSWER UNTIL YOU SEE THAT:

NOTHING is politically correct.
NOTHING beats a great pair of legs. (Sorry, couldn’t help it)
NOTHING controls tartar.
NOTHING is on time.
NOTHING is fresher.
NOTHING is unscented.
NOTHING is hypo-allergenic.
NOTHING is full of minerals, vitamins and nutrients.
NOTHING is asbestos-free.
NOTHING stops wetness.

NOW what would you pay for such a thing? $59.95? Maybe $89.95? Hold your answer, BECAUSE THERE’S MORE, like:

NOTHING is the quicker picker upper.
NOTHING is preferred in national taste tests.
NOTHING is FDIC insured.
NOTHING can repair your credit.
NOTHING makes moving easy.
NOTHING is sharper, clearer and has better color.
NOTHING is low tar.
NOTHING is color-safe.
NOTHING saves you 30% over the leading brand.

Look at these testimonials:

“NOTHING saved my marriage.”- Elizabeth Taylor
“I’m getting’ NOTHING for Christmas!”Spike Jones
“Never was a product more aptly named- NOTHING is just what it says it is!”Bob Smith
“NOTHING works.”Mary Smith
“I got plenty of nothing”George Gershwin

Haven’t you waited long enough for NOTHING? You owe it to yourself to order NOTHING today!

SPECIAL OFFER: Order today and you get our one-time special price of $7.95 for one box of NOTHING with a genuine product certification from $crooge & Marley LTD. And SHIPPING is FREE! Your order comes festively wrapped and ready to put under the tree. Click that button below to go to our secure ordering page!

Scrooge and Marley